Poor Toa. Why do Kiwis care so much about critters?

Why must we name them? It just makes it harder. Happy Feet. We’ll call the penguin Happy Feet, and all of New Zealand will watch his journey back to his Happy Feet Happy place. Children will watch on screens in classrooms around the country as our beloved penguin Happy Feet swims, swims, swims... Wait. We’ve lost him. We have no contact with Happy Feet. Oh, no. Surely not. Oh, Great Scott the joyful journey of Happy Feet can’t end up with him in the clutches of a sea monster!!

(Awkward cough.)

‘‘Well kids, time to do some maths. Happy Feet has gone to heaven, or to Rainbow Bridge. Who can tell me what a rhombus looks like?’’

We name them. As a child, my parents regaled me with stories of Opo the friendly dolphin. Years later, some folk said Opo could be a bit of a perve but I chose not to believe a single bad bit of vicious tittletattle about the legendary Opo.

Now we have Toa, the baby Orca separated from his pod, who tragically passed away on Friday night.

It was like Finding Nemo but the gigantic version. Damn it! We named him, and my best friend and daughter were constantly sending me updates on sightings of orcas. My daughter greeted me not with ‘‘hello!’’ when she got home, but ‘‘any news about Toa?’’

My best friend messaged me twice on Friday. First message, ‘‘Oh Toa. Poor bubba.’’ Second

message, ‘‘They’ve spotted a pod of orcas off Kapiti!’’ Shouldn’t they both know me well enough now to know I refuse to have my heart broken by yet another monikered sea creature?

Scores of people post daily about sad and abandoned animals. There are thousands of posts about mistreated animals, and I do care. It’s diabolical what some inhumane evil villains will do to animals. It was everyone’s dream that Toa would find his family. I may avoid the news chatter, but of course I cared. Again though I ask, must we name them? It draws me in. It gives me hope that life is fair. It allows me to believe in Happy Endings. Oh, that life was a fairytale, and there was some charming man with my lost Jimmy Choo ready to whisk me off on his Indian to a palace in Paraparaumu.

What were the Kahui twins’ names? The murdered babies a few years back? Do you remember? I remember. I think about them sometimes, and all the other murdered children. I cringe, crumple, and sometimes cry a little thinking about all of our abused and neglected kids. I suppose I’ve always been a people person. I like animals, but I love children. Do we then fall into categories? Are some of us desensitised to children being killed at the hands of loved ones? Are there a collection of people like me, who would rather we didn’t name wild animals for fear nature rarely has a happy ending? Why can so many people remember Opo and Happy Feet, and read every update about Toa... and yet perhaps not remember the names of twin baby boys who apparently no-one bashed to death?

Chis and Cru. Their names were Chris and Cru Kahui. Poor helpless innocent baby boys.