Grieving couple’s quest to help other families when a baby dies

Three weeks after losing their second child in less than a year, a Taranaki couple want to help other families who are grieving a baby’s death.

Amity-Raine Kahukura Mita weighed just 369 grams, but she was a fighter who surprised doctors by living for 18 hours after her premature birth on July 1.

Her brief life was a gift to her parents, Tristan Mita and Korina Skipper, and their older children, Naia, 7, and Lathan, 4.

‘‘We still had hope, right to her last breath, really,’’ Korina said.

‘‘We called her Tinkerbell as she was severely growth restricted. She was very tiny, but so stroppy and sassy.’’

Due to a very rare maternal condition, chronic histiocytic intervillositis, diagnosed when her mother was 19 weeks pregnant, Amity-Raine had been expected to die weeks before her birth, but she hung on for another two months.

The condition was being treated, but it turned out that Amity-Raine had a second underlying issue, massive perivillous fibrin deposition, which was discovered too late to save her life.

Just 10 months earlier, in September last year, the Ha¯ wera couple’s son Artem, who was affected by the same condition, was stillborn. This time around, the couple knew what was happening, so when Amity-Raine was born, they felt hope as well as sadness. During those 18 hours in the Wellington neonatal ward, they were the happiest parents there, Skipper said.

After Amity-Raine died, she was placed in a CuddleCot, a chilled baby bed. It allowed the couple to spend time with her without having her embalmed.

Usually, CuddleCots are only available in hospitals, but with the help of Emily Davidson and Vicki Cullen from Sands Taranaki, a pregnancy, baby and infant loss support charity, the couple were loaned Wellington Hospital’s $6000 machine. They were able to take the CuddleCot home with their daughter for a few days.

This was much better than using multiple ice packs, which they’d had to do when they took Artem home. ‘‘After three days, he was ready to go,’’ Korina said.

The extra time gave them space to make Amity-Raine’s funeral very special.

‘‘With Artem, we cremated him. We just played him some music and laid him down, and left.

‘‘Our little girl got really spoilt, with kids that were there blowing bubbles. She had music, she had a poem read for her by Emily, and I spoke as well. The experience of each was completely different because we were able to think about it, whereas with Artem it was so sudden.’’

The couple, their two older children and wider wha¯ nau were able to spend five days with their little girl.

‘‘For two nights it was just us with her and our two older kids,’’ Korina said.

‘‘It was really good to have just our family. Then, later, everyone else came.’’

The CuddleCot, which fitted into the baby’s own bed, helped normalise their time with Amity-Raine, Mita said.

‘‘You could pick her up and cuddle her, then put her back down. You weren’t afraid to touch her.’’

During those days, Davidson helped them create memories of their wee girl through photos and video and making resin casts of her tiny feet and hands.

The couple have now started a Givealittle page fundraiser in memory of Artem and Amity to raise money to buy a CuddleCot for Sands Taranaki.

If more than $6000 is received, the extra money will go to support Sands and towards buying CuddleCots for other regions.

Davidson, who has supported the family through both babies’ deaths, said the CuddleCot’s value lies in the time it gives grieving families with their children.

‘‘We know how finite that time is, and we try to slow everything down.

‘‘They can have the best experience in the worst circumstances.’’