Covid-19 fears fuel rise in anxiety as Christmas looms

Pre-Christmas stress is being compounded this year by the added anxiety and uncertainty caused by the Covid-19 pandemic, says a Nelson agency that deals with family violence.

Rise clinical leader Lois Hewetson believed that as the pressure builds, some people are using ‘‘power control’’ even more over their partners and families as a way of trying to regain control at a time when there’s so much uncertainty.

‘‘With the uncertainty of the pandemic, and uncertainty of how long it’s going to last, some people have ramped up the power control. That’s one way of feeling like you have control and predictability in your life,’’ she said.

Rise – which stands for Respect, Inspire, Support, Empower – deals with those who commit family violence or are victims of it, helping men, women and young people in the top of the south to try to live free from violence.

Hewetson said her observations about the use of abuse, aggression and intimidation to dominate a relationship related to the community in general, not just clients of Rise, which last year dealt with 1260 referrals in Nelson, Tasman, the West Coast, Marlborough and Kaikōura.

She implored people to stop, think and take a breather if they felt they were losing control.

People living in an environment where power control was normally used lived with a sense of uncertainty, and the strain from the pandemic would amplify the uncertainty for both the victim and person exerting the control.

‘‘[It’s situations like] ‘ have I cooked the right meal tonight or will they throw it across the room or throw it into my face’?’’

Hewetson said there was a lot of tension, anxiety and uncertainty in the community about a range of Covid-19-related issues, including job security, the looming spread of the disease, how it would affect people, and vaccinations.

Because of increased anxiety people weren’t as tolerant to other viewpoints as they might otherwise be, she said.

Rise had a report of one parent not wanting the other parent to have their child vaccinated, and another report of two youths wanting to get vaccinated but the parents being against it, Hewetson said.

Vaccination status could potentially affect invitations to some Christmas family gatherings, she said. ‘‘Who will be in and who will be out at Christmas? It mostly seems to be vaxers saying anti-vaxers aren’t coming for Christmas.’’

She’d also heard anecdotal reports of splits in relationships because one partner wanted to get vaccinated and the other did not.

Usual pre-Christmas stress – such as how to cover the extra costs of festive food, presents and holidays – was coming on top of anxiety about the pandemic as borders open up, Hewetson said.

While short bursts of stress were normal and manageable, long periods of managing stress caused distress, she said.

Rise had had an increase in referrals from the daily safety assessment meeting it took part in between police and other health, welfare and social agencies, Hewetson said, though she did not know if they related to the impacts of the pandemic.

Each year after the Christmas break Rise also had an increase in referrals, around February and March. If people felt they were spiralling out of control they should try to be more mindful by slowing down and being aware of their own thoughts and feelings, ‘‘taking a breath’’ and thinking before they react or try to control others.

She suggested taking time out, going for a walk or other exercise, eating healthily, getting a good night’s sleep and discussing their worries with someone they trusted as good ways to help reduce tension.

‘‘Accept there are things that are going to happen at the moment that you won’t have control over,’’ Hewetson said.

‘‘If we can just accept that it’s a really tough time, accept that there is uncertainty, and trust that you can find a way to look after yourself.’’

‘‘It mostly seems to be vaxers saying antivaxers aren’t coming for Christmas.’’ Lois Hewetson Rise clinical leader