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#Metoo is not what you think it is, Judith Collins

Alison Mau alison.mau@stuff.co.nz

In my group threads, the response to details of Simon Bridges’ remark about how to do sex to conceive a girl-child, overheard by MP Jacqui Dean at a party function in 2016, was various takes on ‘‘eeew’’ and ‘‘ick’’, often accompanied by the rolled-eyes emoji.

His comment was a crass echo of times longpast and had no place in a modern workplace. I hope Bridges has, as he claims, matured in the years since. His comment was a sad example of the blokey culture that has blighted Parliament since, well, forever.

Was it so bad? Not really. I’ve heard worse, and likely so have you. Does it technically meet the bar for sexual harassment under the law? I would say not; the law states that to count as sexual harassment, the behaviour must be sustained, or so significant to the recipient that it affects their ability to do their job.

That does not mean Dean was wrong to be appalled by Bridges’ comment. And she, reportedly, did exactly the right thing back at the time. She approached her party leader, who consulted with Bridges, who apologised. Dean accepted the apology.

That’s really the point here. Sincere apology, followed by forgiveness (as long as that was not coerced or forced in any way) – that ought to have been the end of it. Where someone has erred, admits it, and seeks forgiveness, there must be room for that contrition and forgiveness.

For your context, I can tell you that people accused of sexual harassment rarely apologise. Perhaps their lawyers (their first response is often to lawyer-up) tell them not to. Our research going all the way back to early 2018 shows most victims of sexual harassment initially just want that genuine apology. Hundreds of women have told me their issue would have been sorted early in the (in my experience, rare) event that they got that apology. This is something I’ve written about on multiple occasions over the past four years.

In this #metoo space, where (mostly) women have been, finally, freed to talk about their experiences with (mostly) men, it’s the process that follows afterwards – where, after failing to gain a sincere apology, and the complainant suffers again through a flawed reporting/ investigation process, that further harm is done.

Because of the inherent legal risks, sexual harassment stories only hit the headlines after exhaustive investigation based on a stack of evidence that shows a pattern of behaviour over an extended period. I’ve only very rarely been contacted about a single comment, and never have those stories made it to print.

So, why did Bridges’ comment to Dean end up rolling Judith Collins?

Here’s where we need to look closely at Collins’ own behaviour. As she was shown the door by her caucus, Collins tweeted: ‘‘I knew when I was confided in by a female colleague regarding her allegation of serious misconduct against a senior colleague, that I would likely lose the leadership by taking the matter so seriously.’’

People say all sorts of things when they’ve made a boo-boo of this magnitude. But Collins went further – she characterised the Dean/ Bridges comment as National’s #metoo moment. That, it is most definitely, not.

If Collins was truly concerned by the way MPs are treated in her party, she could have at any time during her stewardship released the longburied, anonymously-authored ‘‘health and safety’’ report into bullying and harassment in the party. The one which was – irony alert! – commissioned by none other than Simon Bridges when he was leader and then never saw the light of day in public. She could have taken a stand against the use of non-disclosure agreements by her party to silence complainants.

And to characterise it as such, Collins has shown she not only does not understand what the #metoo movement is, but she’s prepared to throw other women under the bus for her own ends.

Firstly, Jacqui Dean – who made it pretty plain, or at least as plain as a carefully-crafted Facebook post from a politician can be, that she had raised the matter with Collins in the context of her work to clean up the parliamentary culture in the wake of the Debbie Francis report.

Dean says she never intended the revelation to be used for political ends. If Collins took that public without her consent, she was visiting injury upon insult for Dean.

And more broadly I would argue, she betrayed all of those women who’ve been brave enough to speak up about the serious harassment they’ve experienced in organisations throughout Aotearoa.

Their bravery does not deserve to be undermined in such a way.

They deserve better, and so does National.

Opinion

en-nz

2021-12-05T08:00:00.0000000Z

2021-12-05T08:00:00.0000000Z

https://fairfaxmedia.pressreader.com/article/281758452575491

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