Aroha

Libby Robertson, 32, and her husband Dane Robertson, 35 (Tainui, Ngāti Hauā, Ngāti Korokī Kahukura) co-founded two personal development companies focusing on business and wellness coaching, which came out of their decision to get sober six years ago. They

LIBBY: I’m Wellington born and bred and after doing a psychology degree at anterbury niversity, headed to London. or years I lived there, Australia and Bali, working as a travel agent and corporate management coach. We moved home a year ago and chose apamoa for a fresh start.

I wasn’t long out of my previous relationship when I matched with Dane on Tinder. I’d moved to anberra to be with someone but he broke up with me because of my drinking. I started drinking when I was and partied any chance I could. I knew I had an issue but couldn’t stop.

I was back in Wellington for hristmas when Dane and I started messaging each other but didn’t meet as I was only here for five days. I moved back to ew ealand a couple of weeks later and Dane was my first and only Tinder date. He invited me to a summer concert at the Botanic arden and put so much care and intentionality into the date, organising a picnic and actually listening to me. I’d never had a man listen to me that way before, or look me in the eye when he talked and ask more uestions. We were so immersed in the date we didn’t notice everyone else had gone home.

I’d booked a one way ticket to outh ast Asia with my best friend as part of my healing from my previous relationship. After meeting Dane I still wanted to go to Asia and Dane said he’d wait for me. I was away for three months and we moved in together when I got back.

I kept on partying and one weekend, when I went out at noon and got back at am the net day, Dane said he couldn’t put up with it anymore. When he tried to break up with me I threw myself out of a second storey window and ended up in hospital. y parents came to see me in the hospital and said Dane was done with me.

n anuary , , I uit drinking and Dane said he’d give up too. I eventually started a blog coaching others to give up drinking and that led to us leaving our c or po rateobs and getting into the personal coaching space.

Dane has gone through so much in the last few years, no tu st with me but also with his family, yet he’ s the calmest, most stable person I’ve ever met. He has such a beautiful humility about him that makes everyone feel seen and valued – no matter who he meets, he will find a way to connect with them. It’s how he’s created such success in life. He’s my best friend and soulmate.

DANE: I’ve spent most of my life in Wellington, apart from stints playing rugby in pain and the . I did a marketing degree at ictoria niversity and worked in banking sales.

I’d been in a relationship for months, which ended when I got back from the . A month later I got on Tinder, which was a love hate thing – I’d delete it, then download it again. I realised I wanted a deeper connection than ust hook ups.

I was attracted to Libby’s gorgeous figure but also the fact that we were on similar paths and had similar ideals, perspectives and goals. I knew Libby was someone special within the first month and that she was the one a few months later.

Her drinking was a concern but Icouldn’ tudg ea sI was also causing havoc with the rugby boys. I’d grown up in an alcoholic household and my father died of liver failure when I was I vowed never to drink, although I broke that promise when I turned .

iving up drinking was probably the most pivotal point of our lives – it gave us the opportunity to follow a different path together. When Libby started her blog, oberly, it was a chance to delve deeper into her purpose and was the starting point for our businesses and where we are now.

We’re best friends and we have fun – having fun is the core of how we operate. We also take time and space to ourselves because when you grow as an individual, you grow as a couple.

We decided to do a cycle trip from icton to Bluff to commemorate the second anniversary of our sobriety. I knew I was going to propose on the trip so before we left Wellington I took Libby’s sister shopping, as she has the same si e hands as Libby. Because I’m paranoid about these things, I would check times a day that I hadn’t lost the ring.

We thought we were at the pancake rocks at unakaiki but actually we were down the road at a small cove. Because we weren’t in the right place, we thought it was a bit underwhelming But I got down on one knee and asked Libby to marry me. Later we found the actual rocks, which were ama ing.

Libby’s great skill is her ability to bring out the oy and happiness in people. he’s kind and generous and there isn’t a bad bone in her body.

We’ve done a lot of work learning to look at the other person’s perspective and where they’re coming from. As well as how we react to something, which has helped us get to the good place we’re at now.