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COUPLES

AS TOLD TO SHARON STEPHENSON

Bella Kalolo-Suraj, 40, (Ngāti Porou / Samoan / Tongan) is an award-winning singer-songwriter / actress who currently stars in Duckrockers (screening now on TVNZ 2) and Five Seconds of Fame (screening on Whakaata Māori). She has performed at Glastonbury, with Chaka Khan and John Meyer and is married to Suraj Kumar, 31, a personal trainer / body transformation coach. They live in Auckland.

BELLA: I’d been in a relationship for seven years but the thought of dating scared me so I was single for six years before Suraj. I was having fun but in 2020 thought it might be nice to have someone in my life.

I signed up for a dating app but it was awful. This sounds horrible, but there is so much crap out there. I can’t tell you the number of men who sent me photos of parts of their anatomy.

I went on one date and the guy was nice but there was no spark – it was like eating pizza with a friend – so I deleted the app. I had noticed Suraj’s photo and thought he looked nice – there was something wholesome about him and I knew he wouldn’t be into the smutty stuff I’d come across. So I looked up Suraj’s Instagram and messaged him.

We started talking and realised he lived close to me. I was brought up never to go to someone’s house empty handed so I took him a dozen eggs, which sounds bizarre but I knew he was a bodybuilder so thought he could do with the protein. When I handed him the eggs he looked a little surprised but happy I’d brought a gift.

When I get nervous I sweat and my face was like Niagara Falls. Suraj offered to turn on the fan, which was super nice of him. We ordered in food and talked all night. It sounds like a cheesy love song but even though it was the first time we’d met, I felt a lot of love for him. I just knew Suraj would be my best mate and that we’d have lots of adventures together.

We didn’t want to wait so got engaged four months after meeting. My family didn’t have an issue with his race, religion or the fact that we’d known each other for such a short time. They were more concerned that Suraj was right for me and had my best interests at heart, which he’s proved he has.

We had six weeks to pull the wedding together. The borders weren’t open so Suraj’s family couldn’t come but we included his culture – the women wore bindis and Suraj wore a traditional outfit.

Suraj is incredibly patient and loving. He’s currently training for a bodybuilding competition, which has tested our relationship because he’s food and treats deprived so can be cranky – but man, he looks amazing! We’re all about compromise – even if Suraj is tired, he’ll help me and even though I’m vegetarian I’ll cook chicken for him. The key in a relationship is always wanting the best for the other person.

SURAJ: I was born in India but moved to Qatar with my father’s job when I was 4 and lived there for 15 years. I did a hospitality degree and thought about moving to the US where my older brother and cousins are but that didn’t appeal, so I came to New Zealand in 2013.

I was a professional swimmer in India and have always loved fitness so have now made that my career.

My parents had an arranged marriage and so did my brother but I was always against it. I had a girlfriend in Auckland for a year but that ran its course.

I signed up to the dating app during lockdown more to make friends but was on there less than a week because I couldn’t cope with the drama of it. I wasn’t interested in women who played games.

Bella messaged me on Instagram at 1.30am. I was like, who messages at that hour? I didn’t check my phone until later but it was a nice surprise. When we finally met I loved Bella’s smile – she laughs a lot and is a really happy person. In my culture you never show up empty handed to someone’s house so the fact that Bella brought a gift spoke a lot about her character. I also fell in love with her gorgeous thick, wavy hair.

I proposed with a gold ring I’d bought in India 10 years ago, which is very special to me. Bella was out with her friends and she usually gets home late but for some reason that night she came home early. I asked her to go outside as I was spelling out the words “will you marry me” in flower petals on the bed and hadn’t quite finished. I put the ring in the middle and when she came back I got down on one knee, she saw the bed and started crying.

My family hasn’t been very supportive of our marriage because Bella’s not Indian and is older than me. But Bella makes me really happy so hopefully they’ll come around.

Bella has a good heart, a great sense of humour and is gifted when it comes to keeping the house tidy. And her voice is amazing! The first time I saw Bella perform at Spark Arena I was blown away.

Her only quirk is that she uses lots of towels – one for her face, one for her body and so on. I have no idea which is my towel and often grab hers by mistake, which doesn’t end well.

We’ve been learning about each other’s cultures, mainly through food and cooking for each other, but are also learning each other’s languages.

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2022-12-03T08:00:00.0000000Z

2022-12-03T08:00:00.0000000Z

https://fairfaxmedia.pressreader.com/article/283381950951277

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