Stuff Digital Edition

Here’s why your house is so cluttered

We’re drowning in stuff and it’s making us anxious and overwhelmed, but the key is understanding why we do it. Kylie Klein-Nixon writes.

There’s a bit in Canadian comic Seth Rogen’s 2021 autobiography Year Book that might sound familiar.

‘‘My house was messy,’’ he writes in an essay about his parents’ home, titled Bonanza. ‘‘I wouldn’t say dirty, but kind of cluttered. There were always little piles of things everywhere

. . . Nothing is put away. Everything is laid out in organised little stacks everywhere.’’

Rogen reckons clutter is a particularly Jewish phenomenon, but the problem of clutter seems to be pretty universal these days, and thanks to our busy lives, and things like recreational and online shopping, it’s only getting worse.

Professional organiser and founder of Sort My House, Angela McLachlan, started out as a ‘‘hobby organiser’’ about six years ago. Today, she has 10 professional declutterers and organisers on her team, and they’re already fully booked for the next month.

Working in Auckland, Tauranga and Christchurch, her team helps overwhelmed families declutter and reorganise their domestic lives into a manageable size and shape.

While she and her team are not trained counsellors or therapists, many of her clients are seeking additional professional help to cope with their cluttering habits while working with McLachlan’s organisers to get back on track.

‘‘They’re time-poor,’’ says McLachlan. ‘‘They simply don’t have enough time to stay on top of the things that are coming into their home. They become overwhelmed, and they can’t sort it themselves.

‘‘The other thing we see is people are often trying to fill a void. Something was missing in their lives and they’re trying to fill the void with clutter.’’

McLachlan also has clients who grew up with scarcity and now struggle to let anything go ‘‘because they’re worried they’re going to run out of whatever it is’’ in the future.

‘‘A lot of the time, when people are overwhelmed, they don’t have the motivation or the drive to do something. We can just get through it.’’

The Mindset

The reasons we’re drowning in our stuff, even though it’s overwhelming us, are complex, and often deeply personal.

‘‘There’s sentimentality, nostalgia, sometimes [the item is] part of their identity, who they are,’’ says clinical psychologist and author Karen Nimmo. ‘‘For lots of people, having stuff around you provides that sense of comfort, or control. Some people just really do struggle with organisation. So it just builds up.’’

In a perfect world, that sense of who we are ‘‘should come from within’’ rather than what we own, but often, our objects initially give us reassurance. ‘‘Having those things around you, for some people, that’s status.’’

It becomes a problem, however, when you start to feel overwhelmed or anxious about your stuff.

The distress caused by clutter comes from ‘‘carrying too much cognitive load’’, says Nimmo. The mental effort required to process and organise our possessions can be taxing, she says.

‘‘We have a saying in psychology: it’s only a problem when it’s a problem. So if you start to feel the grind of it yourself, if it makes you feel anxious, then you know you’re slipping into a different space, a different zone with it.

‘‘If you genuinely just like having lots of stuff around and it’s not impacting your relationships or anyone else, and it’s bringing you some sort of pleasure, then I think that’s fine.’’

We all have different tolerance levels for clutter. While some people need a clear space and organisation to feel clear and calm, others don’t, Nimmo says.

‘‘It’s all about individual differences.’’ However, she adds: ‘‘Any sort of cluttering that starts to make you feel anxious and distressed is a red flag.’’

Stop the shop

Both Nimmo and McLachlan point to the ease with which we can buy things online as contributing to clutter, too.

‘‘We get into the homes and they haven’t even opened the bag,’’ says McLachlan. ‘‘We’re just donating whole bags of stuff. People are buying things because it’s so accessible, and so cheap. They’re not thinking bigger picture.’’

Shopping mindfully, stopping and asking yourself if you really need that item before you buy it, and also giving yourself a one-inone-out policy, can help.

Finally, some people hold on to clutter because they feel guilty about getting rid of something they’ve spent money on. But it’s called the ‘‘sunk cost fallacy’’ for a reason.

‘‘You already spent that money the day you bought it. Now, it’s using more money because you’re storing it. You’re paying for a roof over its head, but what does it bring to your life?’’

Let it go

Auckland-based professional organiser Hannah Stickland, of Simplify My Home says decluttering can also unlock cash tied up in your stuff.

‘‘Everyone holds an average of $1200 worth of items in their home that they don’t need,’’ she says. ‘‘By re-evaluating the value of items in our homes, we can not only free up physical space but also create mental space for the things that truly matter.’’

Knowing where everything is will also stop you overbuying, and save you even more money.

Here are Stickland’s five tips to help you start your decluttering journey:

Start small:

Don’t look at the whole house, because that would put anyone off. Start small, maybe it’s one box, or bag of papers, or one wardrobe. Take little steps and suddenly, you’ll have completed a room.

Be mindful:

Ask yourself how things make you feel. Are they bringing something positive to your life? Why are you holding on to it? Is that a legitimate reason to keep it?

Be thankful:

Focus on what you’re keeping, rather than what you’re giving up. As you let things go, be thankful you had them in your life.

Set boundaries:

Employ a one-in-one-out rule, or some other limit on what you bring into your home. Set limits on what you buy or collect. Give yourself a timeframe for dealing with clutter or mess.

Get help:

Get the family involved in decluttering their parts of the home. If you can afford it, a professional declutterer can take the emotion out of the process and help keep you on track.

Homed

en-nz

2023-06-08T07:00:00.0000000Z

2023-06-08T07:00:00.0000000Z

https://fairfaxmedia.pressreader.com/article/281852942966058

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