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Time for an overhaul of the baby name rules

Dave Armstrong A playwright and satirist based in Wellington. Best Bets Model. America’s Top

‘Ollie, Quinn. Play by the water, so you don’t ruin Mia and Noah’s sandcastle.’’ That’s the sort of thing you might be hearing on the beach this summer if the recently released list of most popular baby names of 2021 is anything to go by.

There were few Leos, Theodores, Islas or Willows when I went to school, which was drowning in a sea of Susans, Stevens, Judiths, Richards and Russells, but they are some of last year’s most popular.

Any Jacks I knew as a kid were over 50, and often had a hanging out of their back pocket. Yet today, every Tom, Dick and Harry seems to have a son called Jack.

I have many Olivers and Charlottes in my life – the two most popular names on the list – and I love them all dearly. But Oliver has been the top name for boys since 2013, for goodness’ sake, and Charlotte, Isla and Amelia have been in the top three for girls for the last three years. Mind you, looking around the world and across the ditch, we can hardly expect Donald, Boris, Vladimir, Andrew, Meghan, Novak, Gladys or Scomo to make the list soon.

Of the popular names in the era of my grandparents (Albert, Jessie, Jack, Rebe), I find that some current favourites – Theodore, William, George, Amelia, Lily and Isabella – were quite common back then. What goes around comes around – and parents of newborn babies often look to a grandparent or great-grandparent for inspiration.

There have always been gender-neutral names. I grew up with a lot of Vivians, Robins and Lesleys. Manaia and Quinn qualified on that count in 2021 and look for the increasing popularity of names like Kendall and Charlie in the future.

Growing up at the end of the era of assimilation, most Mā ori kids I went to school with had either European first names or transliterations like Hō hepa or Wiremu. Rangi, Ngaire and Kiri were also popular. Last year, Nikau was the most popular Mā ori boys’ name, with Keanu coming in sixth. Mia was officially the most popular Mā ori girls’ name, follow by Aria, Maia and Aurora, with Maria coming in tenth. Wait a minute – isn’t Keanu a Hawaiian name and Mia and Maria also popular Italian names?

Yes, but the rules developed by the Department of Internal Affairs, based on criteria from Te Taura Whiri Mā ori Language Commission, state that to be classified as Mā ori, names only have to include vowels and consonants that appear in the Mā ori alphabet.

Dr Karaitiana Taiuru rightly argues that Internal Affairs should research the name and decide if it is Mā ori or not. If this was done, the list would truly represent popular Mā ori names, which it does not do at present.

But whether or not Keanu should be on the list of Mā ori names, everyone is still free to use it. There are some names that you are simply not allowed to use. Name your kid after the late singer Prince, and you’ll be out of luck. Same with King, Royalty, Saint and Souljah, which were all vetoed in 2021. Even though Kingi and Queenie have been popular names in New Zealand, forget King or Queen.

Arepublican on Twitter reckoned that the naming rules were an outmoded hangover from our colonial days and I agree. Call a kid Prince, Prynce or Prints and I suspect most Kiwis would not be offended, and if they were, only by the spelling.

Isis was also a name banned last year. While I can see that calling a child Isis would be as unfair as calling them Department of Internal Affairs, do the powers that be know that Isis is a legitimate girl’s name harking back to ancient Egypt? It’s been the name of famous actors, astronomers and the first trans woman to compete on

Yet today, every Tom, Dick and Harry seems to have a son called Jack.

Given our surfeit of Olivers and Charlottes, perhaps Kiwis need to become more original? Some of the Gloriavale sect simply choose two of their Christian values to create names such as Steadfast Joy, Charity Love or Chastity Faithful. Given my two biggest values are sloth and procrastination, I’d have to name myself Virtual Standstill, which I suspect wouldn’t go down well on the communal farm.

I think the Department of Internal Affairs needs to improve the way it classifies Mā ori names and chill out over names that might offend the kings, queens and princes at Buckingham Palace. Babies called King or Princess are hardly going to lead to the downfall of the British monarchy. Besides, the monarchy is doing that task itself very successfully at the moment without any help from the good children of Aotearoa.

Opinion

en-nz

2022-01-18T08:00:00.0000000Z

2022-01-18T08:00:00.0000000Z

https://fairfaxmedia.pressreader.com/article/281719797951024

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