‘Falling apart inside’

Struggling with alcohol abuse in a high-profile job

Fourteen years ago, Janet Thompson was the hardworking CEO of a successful company. She was also “blackout drunk” most days.

“It was exhausting, baffling and confusing. On the outside I had everything, I was successful and highperforming, but on the inside I was just falling apart,” she says.

She had been a social drinker for years and says her relationship with alcohol was initially healthy. Until it wasn’t.

“It happened gradually. All of a sudden I realised once I started drinking, I couldn’t stop.”

Thompson says she became an isolated drinker. She wouldn’t drink at work events or parties, but would make excuses to go home early so she could drink. “I was a really hard worker, so it made sense to people that I needed to go home to work.”

There were numerous mornings where she woke up and couldn’t remember what she had done the night before. But she was a master at juggling her alcohol abuse with a highfunctioning lifestyle, all the while hiding how much she was really drinking.

There was no quintessential “rock bottom” that made Thompson seek help. It was simply a realisation during an overseas work trip that she couldn’t continue as she was any longer. “I had become a spectator of my own life.”

For three or four months the then 48-year-old struggled unsuccessfully to beat her alcohol addiction on her own. “I was a very competent and able person, I thought I should be able to solve this on my own.”

When she finally admitted she needed help, she booked herself into a residential rehab programme - and she hasn’t had a drink since.

While not many New Zealanders will speak as openly about their struggle with alcohol addiction, Thompson’s story is certainly not unique.

According to the 2021/22 New Zealand Health Survey, nearly one in five New Zealand adults are hazardous drinkers, as defined by a World Health Organisation measure. Wellington mayor Tory Whanau recently admitted she has a drinking problem after an incident at an inner city bar. The public reaction was swift and varied, from some expressing sympathy and applauding her for speaking openly about her struggles, to others voicing their concerns that she was no longer a suitable mayor for the capital.

In a statement, Whanau said leadership positions in public office “are not built for regular people who may have struggles with addiction, mental ill-health, or any other illness that has stigma attached”.

Emeritus Professor and addictions expert Doug Sellman says alcoholism is more prevalent among our societal leaders than generally realised. “Alcoholism is certainly not confined to people of lower socio-economic status, as anyone who attends an AA meeting will quickly find out [when] they encounter various ‘high-flying’ individuals including doctors, lawyers and even judges there.” Thompson, now the chief executive of the Auckland rehabilitation facility The Retreat, echoes this statement. “At The Retreat, we’ve seen pilots, doctors, school teachers, CEOs, bankers all needing help with alcohol addiction.” Dr Pauline Stewart, a counselling and educational psychologist and founder and CEO of Family Drug Support Aotearoa New Zealand, says “high-functioning” alcohol abuse is a tricky term with no firm definition, as someone could be functioning well at work, but be dysfunctional in other areas of their life.

Stewart also avoids terms like “addiction” or “alcoholic” which she says can make people feel judged and is unhelpful when trying to support someone with alcohol use disorder. “Language is critical when talking about this.”

Most harmful drug in NZ

Different countries have different guidelines on alcohol use - in New Zealand, the guideline for women is no more than two standard drinks a day (three for men) and no more than 10 standard drinks a week (15 for men), as well as at least two alcohol-free days every week.

Experts agree that any amount of drinking carries higher risk than not drinking. A study by researchers from the University of Otago, published earlier this year, showed experts ranked alcohol as the most harmful drug in New Zealand based on 17 criteria including drug-related damage, dependence, injury to others, crime, community damage and economic cost.

Stewart said many people, including those in stressful jobs, turn to alcohol as a way to manage anxiety. This can cause them to get caught in a vicious cycle where they increasingly rely on alcohol to cope, which leads to alcohol-related problems and anxiety, which leads to more drinking.

Sellman believes people in prominent jobs are not necessarily more stressed than those in less senior positions. “Stress in the workplace more often comes with low pay, low status and low freedom,” he says.

“The increased risk that more likely comes from ‘high-flying’ jobs for drinking heavily is the presence of alcohol in various work-related meetings, and the freedom to drink it frequently, including price being no barrier.”

While drinking might be seen as normal – 79% of New Zealanders have had a drink containing alcohol in the past year - alcohol addiction remains massively stigmatised.

People struggling with alcohol abuse, especially those in high-profile positions, often go to great lengths to hide their addiction or make it really difficult for others to challenge them about it, says Thompson. Ironically, hiding the problem can add to the anxiety driving the alcohol abuse in the first place, says Stewart. She explains the “concealed stigma” causes a person to constantly think about what they say, worrying what would happen if someone found out, and struggling to find support because they are unable to talk about it openly.

Sellman says the most important barrier to reducing the stigma of alcoholism is the ubiquitous heavy drinking culture in New Zealand “nurtured by a predatory alcohol industry, whose marketing promises success and happiness when the result of heavy drinking is more often misery and pain”.

He said Whanau had “shown considerable courage” to be upfront about her alcohol problem and while we all have weaknesses, it was brave to admit them and seek help.

Seeking help for alcohol addiction early is vital, said Thompson. “What I know now, is that addiction is very progressive. If someone is struggling with alcohol abuse, they need to do something about it, because it will almost invariably get worse.”

When is it really a problem? “If you are asking yourself if your drinking is a problem, it probably is, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking that question.”

Thompson said common red flags include drinking even when you didn’t want to drink, frequently drinking too much whenever you consume alcohol, telling “little white lies” because you feel ashamed or embarrassed about the amount you drink, or feeling restless, irritable or discontent when you’re not drinking.

She believed workplaces should be “recovery friendly” and support employees struggling with alcohol abuse to reach out for help.

“Alcohol addiction should never be an excuse for bad behaviour or poor performance. But if people feel supported enough to speak up when they know they need help, perhaps they can be helped while the situation is still retrievable.”