Aroha

Horomona Horo (45, Ngapuhi, Ngāti Porou, Taranaki), a multidisciplinary artist and educator, with his partner, Regan Balzer (48, Te Arawa, Ngāti Ranginui, Apakura) a visual artist and codirector of Orowaru Arts which focuses on Māori art advisory and education. The couple live in Hamilton and have three children aged 17-24 and a threeyear-old grandson.

HOROMONA: I was born in Auckland but was raised all over the country. I had a challenging upbringing, being asked to leave school when I was 15 and being a bit lost.

But I did a course that helped me to fall back in love with my culture which was a turning point. I got involved with youth groups and through that the Fifth World Indigenous Conference in Waitangi.

I was travelling around New Zealand promoting the conference when I met Regan through friends of friends.

I had previously been in a relationship but was still trying to find out who I was and reconnect with my culture so I wasn’t looking for a committed relationship.

At the conference, a stone was being handed around and when our hands touched there was this weird spark of electricity between us. That was the spark that opened the doorway to what we have now.

After the conference we were all staying at a mate’s house, sleeping marae-style on the floor. I couldn’t sleep one night so went out to the verandah and Regan followed. We saw a shooting star that night. I was so nervous because I was falling in love with Regan and couldn’t stop staring at her.

We’d go clubbing and I’d see Regan dancing with other dudes and be really jealous. When I danced with her I’d try to impress her by freestyling.

We’ve both been on a journey of finding our Māori culture. And I had to learn to love myself first before I could love someone else.

We decided to create our own form of marriage. Neither of us had any ink so we decided a ceremonial way to show our love for each other would be to get pūhoro, traditional Māori tattoos from our waist down to our legs.

We went into the bush for a week and a mate, a tā moko artist, did them for us.

Regan is beautiful and has a great energy. I’m also in awe of her artistic talent. We both travel a lot for work and when I’m away from Regan I feel like a piece of me is missing.

She can be a bit emotional sometimes – we’ll be at a performance or exhibition and I’ll look over and Regan will be crying. But it’s also kind of cute.

It’s easy to fall in love but learning to stay in love is a challenge. I can be an old grumpy old soul but Regan helps to ground me and keep me in check. We’re only human and we continue to challenge one another but spiritually, intellectually and physically we’re okay. Put it this way, I haven’t scared her off yet.

REGAN: I was doing teacher’s training at Waikato University when I met Horomona in 1997. He was travelling around Aotearoa promoting the upcoming Fifth World Indigenous Youth Conference. I met him at a friend’s party and we were friends for a year before the conference.

I’d had a few relationships but none of them were right and I wondered if I’d ever meet the one. My aunty is into tarot cards and one day she did a reading for me. She said I had already met the right one and that he was waiting for me when the time was right. I didn’t know who that could be.

I wrote a list of what I wanted in a man and that included someone who was caring and honest. He didn’t have to have everything on the list, just as long as he had the potential to be the things I wanted.

There was a sacred fire at the conference and Horomona made it his mission to look after it. He’d worked for so long on the conference but he sacrificed it all to look after the fire. I realised then that he had the integrity to do what was right and the potential to be my ideal man.

We got together in January 1999 and three months later I was pregnant. Horomona delivered all of our children.

We’ve always supported each other’s art so when I was at home with the kids I painted and Horomona toured as a musician. We decided to set up our company in 2006 to support and facilitate Māori visual and performing arts. We also perform together as Tā Oro where I paint on stage and he plays instruments and sings.

Horomona is a huge inspiration for me in my work. He has an inner confidence and whatever he does he does it 100% giving it the respect it deserves, whether that’s working with a student or playing with an orchestra. I’m a painter so am more fluid and less focused than he is.

But we’ve been together so long we’ve learned to be open with the other person rather than holding onto stuff.

The one thing that annoys me about Horomona is that he’s always either on time or early. I’m more ‘I’ll turn up when the time is right’, so his timekeeping has always been a challenge for me.

Every morning Horomona makes me coffee and we talk through the day. It’s a small thing but it connects us: he loves making coffee and I love drinking it. Relationships are hard work but having a relationship with your best friend can make it easier. Good communication and respect for each other also helps.