Float your boat: Family-friendly cruising with Disney

Family-friendly cruise ship Disney Wonder is your best bet for a world-class holiday without even having to leave the country, writes

The whole restaurant went quiet with the chair falling over. And our dinner came to an end with a split lip, a crying baby and a bloody white T-shirt. It’s not how I imagined the first night of our Disney cruise, but the kids were overstimulated from a trumpet-playing alligator dancing through the dining room and they were running on the fumes of an icecream sundae – it was only ever going to end one way.

Excitement is everywhere you turn on Disney Wonder – the second ship in the Disney Cruise Line fleet – from the moment the horn plays When You Wish Upon A Star to when you pick up your suitcases under massive printouts of Mickey and Tinkerbell.

On the inaugural sailing from New Zealand waters, more than 900 kids and their families were personally announced over the sound system as they entered the ship. An oversized Goofy was ready, waving enthusiastically on the stairs.

From the main atrium, you then head straight into the classic art nouveau-style interior where Mickey and pals linger in the corridors, fairytale soundtracks are pumped continuously over the soundsystem, and icecream and sugary drinks come on tap.

As I slop chocolate soft-serve into my second cone of the day, crew member Japhet from the Eye Scream station tells me that the machines have been working overtime since the ship’s departure from Queens Wharf, with guests licking their way through more than 60 litres of the cold stuff within hours.

By day, bottomless pizza and burgers can also be enjoyed pool-side or guests can sit down inside one of the main dining rooms. There’s your classic cruise buffet, too, and the rotational dinner sittings mean that guests get to experience all three of the themed venues with the same servers and neighbouring tables each night.

On the list are Tiana’s Place, a New Orleansstyle jazz club drawing inspiration from The Princess and The Frog; Animator’s Palate, an interactive dining experience; and Triton’s, the fanciest of the included options, with a French twist and decor based around The Little Mermaid.

The one downside of the fixed dining programme is that those with young children are either left to keep their little ones awake for an 8.30pm mealtime or show – depending on the sitting you get allocated. It is clear the schedule has been designed for later-eating European and American passengers.

Either way, you are spoiled for choice with Broadway quality entertainment like The Golden Mickey’s show, which takes a walk through the

Disney songbook, to the award-winning Disney Dreams – An Enchanted Classic, a hit-filled musical hinging on the power of positive thinking. They both pack special-effects and nostalgia into hour-long shows.

For night owls, there is the Heroes Unite spectacle at 10.30pm, which sees Marvel superheroes zipline between the ship’s funnels as fireworks explode over the top deck. I wake up another night to the sound of pyrotechnics and fail to make the all-ages karaoke or late-night trivia.

If, like my exhausted kids, you can’t keep your eyes open for the headline shows after dinner, there is still plenty to keep guests entertained.

On Pirate Night, a ship-wide party themed around Pirates of The Caribbean, the servers at Triton’s restaurant assembled for a jolly dance party between tables. Guests dressed as buccaneers were encouraged to limbo under a stick. At Animator’s Palate, guests get markers and paper to sketch their own character and then, before dessert, the room comes to life as animations beam onto the walls alongside some of the film franchise’s beloved characters.

My own little ones were intrigued by the roaming characters of the Mouse House and on most occasions didn’t mind waiting in line, sometimes up to an hour, for a photo. The crew and their antics were equally captivating – whether it was the attendant handing out paper roses outside the restrooms, or the towel animals left during the turndown service.

The biggest hit of Disney magic happened in the middle of Frozen: A Musical Spectacular, as my 5-year-old daughter sang her way through the show. Another day, we found ourselves in the middle of a rave with Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Daisy, where my youngest daughter danced up a storm. Struggling with the other kid on my shoulders was a tiny sacrifice to see the world through their eyes.

It’s no secret that Disney’s cruising experience has been designed for younger sailors. But adults can still have fun and, if they are in need of downtime, disconnect themselves from the experience altogether.

To give yourself a complete breath, the Oceaneers Club and Oceaneers Lab are sanctuaries for kids aged 3 to 12. Locator wristbands allow entry into the child-only areas, which feature multiple themed play zones and where characters spontaneously turn up as entertainment. Parents can rest assured their kids are in good hands, too – on a tour of the venue, youth services manager Ben revealed no-one had ever escaped from the facility, and if they did, an alarm would sound.

While the young ones are here, caregivers and childless guests can find relief from the constant soundtrack of the main deck in the Cove adults-only area, complete with its own bar, hot tubs and swimming pool. The silence here is deafening.

Taking over the entire forwardfacing section of deck 4 is After Hours, another quiet retreat for those who need some time away. There are cushioned portholes, which provide a comfortable nook to read a book, and two decent bars.

But the star of the R18 offerings is Palo, a Venice-themed restaurant located on the top deck, where the music is soft Italian and the waiter from Tuscany will recite a novel about where the vinegar comes from. In this white tablecloth, red rose in a vase kind of restaurant, the adults have an equal measure of stimulation as the young ones on the rest of the ship.

If you’ve always dreamed of visiting the Happiest Place On Earth but can’t afford the airfare, this is your next best option and you don’t even have to leave the country. Just give yourself a few days afterwards to recover from all that excitement.